(no subject)
Feb. 3rd, 2005 03:13 pmAs I've mentioned before, I apparently come across as flirtatious fairly frequently (Yay alliteration!) without meaning to. Today, I think I figured out why.
By default, I like people and find them interesting. When I talk with someone, even if it's only in passing (checkout clerks, person behind me in line, etc.), I focus on him/her/them and pay attention. I try to connect with him/her/them, even if only momentarily. And in the modern culture of public seclusion*, this behavior is so unusual that it's frequently misconstrued and shoved into the next best understood category, flirting. I'm not trying to flirt, I'm just being myself. Besides, I don't think I can intentionally flirt. The few times I've tried... Well, let's just say that the results weren't pretty.
Add to this the fact that I like to make people feel good. (Not like that, you pervs! ...Well, okay. SOMEtimes like that. But only in private) I like to cheer people up, to make their lives a little happier. I chat with the waitstaff about movies, I recommend restaurants to patients, I lend books to the clerk at the comic shop I frequent, I talk about the decline of good TV with that guy in line behind me at the checkout. And these people feel better when I'm gone. Random acts of happiness.
* Public seclusion: the tendency to, when in public or interacting with strangers, close oneself off and "ignore" the presence of others. This behavior is possibly a psycho-evolutionary response to the population pressure and anonymity of urban life.
By default, I like people and find them interesting. When I talk with someone, even if it's only in passing (checkout clerks, person behind me in line, etc.), I focus on him/her/them and pay attention. I try to connect with him/her/them, even if only momentarily. And in the modern culture of public seclusion*, this behavior is so unusual that it's frequently misconstrued and shoved into the next best understood category, flirting. I'm not trying to flirt, I'm just being myself. Besides, I don't think I can intentionally flirt. The few times I've tried... Well, let's just say that the results weren't pretty.
Add to this the fact that I like to make people feel good. (Not like that, you pervs! ...Well, okay. SOMEtimes like that. But only in private) I like to cheer people up, to make their lives a little happier. I chat with the waitstaff about movies, I recommend restaurants to patients, I lend books to the clerk at the comic shop I frequent, I talk about the decline of good TV with that guy in line behind me at the checkout. And these people feel better when I'm gone. Random acts of happiness.
* Public seclusion: the tendency to, when in public or interacting with strangers, close oneself off and "ignore" the presence of others. This behavior is possibly a psycho-evolutionary response to the population pressure and anonymity of urban life.