drewbear | TAR 7:1 - And so it begins again

Well, here we are at the beginning of yet another season of The Amazing Race. Based on the last two seasons with their obnoxious or forgettable teams and the annoying and stupid rule changes, I'm not sure if I'm going to watch this one all the way through, but I'll give it a chance. Don't let me down, PTBs.

And now we begin:

Hmm. There's starting in Cali again. I wonder if they'll spend any significant amount of time in South America.

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Debbie/Bianca: you're silly because you wear high heels and fancy clothes but aren't girly-girly. Oooookaaaay.

Lynn/Alex: Honeys? I'd like to like you, but don't start ragging on the other teams before you meet them. You'll learn to hate them for much better reasons.

Rob/Amber: Reality retreads. Go away.

Heidi/Megan: put down the hair crimpers. Now.

Patrick/Susan: Not the Cleavers? But I always thought the Wally was gonna grow up to be a flaming, bitchy queen.

Brian/Greg: Oh god. "surfer boi" brothers.

Uchana(?)/Joyce: revenge of the tech sector!

Ron/Kelly: I'm glad that he survived the war, but can we please stop with the beauty queens?

Meredith/Gretchen: Every. Single. Old couple. Has said that "experience and treachery" would win out, and none of them have won. Find another strategy.

Ryan/Chuck: Nobody underestimates you because you're fat. They underestimate you because you screw up constantly (not that this has happened yet). Find another strategy.

Ray/Deana: I totally missed you. Not a good sign. But based on the pics at CBS, you really need to lose the headscarves.

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Peru! This should be cool. I hope that while they're in SA they visit Tierra del Fuego.

(OT: Thank you goes out to

trollprincess for letting me get a copy of the TAR theme music. 'Tis trés cool.)

You grew up in Cali and therefore will have an advantage. Right up until you fly out.

"If it's gawt a motar, Ah kin drahve it." I feel slightly ashamed, but I'm falling for his accent already.

Yeah. Wossname, Ray, needs to lose the headscarf. It makes him look stupid.

"Nancy boys?" Don't lose the points you got for the accent this soon.

Don't crash and get knocked out before you even make it to the first airport. It would completely ruin the surprise of the rest of the leg. But would be kinda cool.

::sigh:: Can we please not flame out quite so quickly, homo-contingent? (And I mean all 3 of you. Seriously. Stop it.)

Is one of the Hippie Chicks wearing safety goggles? Why?

Hee! Gretchen is trying so hard to keep from flat-out cussing about heading in the wrong direction. It's actually kinda cute.

Ryan or Chuck (I don't remember which is which), the hairy one, looks a lot like my sister's fiancé. Only older, like a big brother. It's kinda weird.

We're not given any time reference for how long they have to wait for the American flight, but I suspect that they'll all make it with time to spare. Unless there aren't enough seats, of course.

::sigh:: Why are people being so petty so early in the game? Odds are really good that you'll all be bunched up at some point this leg and stirring up bad blood so soon is just stupid.

Joyce's face looks strange to me. I can't tell why though.

Okay, so the Hippie Chicks aren't wearing safety goggles, they're just wearing very large, very dark sunglasses. It still looks strange, like they're trying to hide black eyes.

Ron, honey, dear? You're not going to convince Ray to voluntarily drop out, even with a sob story about donating the money to soldiers.

Damn, but that suede jacket looks good on Phil.

Chuck (my sister's fiancé) speaks fluent Portugues? Neat.

"looks like downtown Baghdad?" god Didn't we already see this behavior from Kelly? Did we really need more?

Lord... They're getting help from a guy who recognized them from "Survivor." I think that should count as an illegal advantage since none of the other teams could possibly replicate that. At least Rob appreciates the scenery.

Gee. Whoda thunk that not knowing any language but English would be a disadvantage. How about anyone with 3 braincells to rub together?

I. LOVE! The Amazing Editors! They direct-cut from the guy doing flying somersaults straight to a dog staring down from a rooftop with a look on its face like "Dude, what crack are you on?"

Is the editing confusing me, or are the first group of teams already in Ancon when the second group are just getting the clue? Because Ancon must not be that long a busride away, relatively. Btw, PEDICABS!!! I love pedicabs.

Muy calientO? Way to mangle the language.

You know, when they've done these "search for fixed departure time" tasks, they didn't tell the teams ahead of time what the departure times were. I'd say that this makes the task easier, wouldn't you?

::snerk:: This kind of playful racing when everyone knows it doesn't really matter is fun to watch.

Cuzco, huh? The pressure difference is going to make a difference, I bet.

How did Rob and Amber catch up? They got a fan to arrange everything for them, that's how.

You don't even BOTHER to check the other departure times? You deserve to get the last flight out.

I keep misreading the subtitle ID for Ron & Kelly (Iraqi POW/Paegant Queen) as PWP instead. That would make this season more interesting, wouldn't it?

Is it just me, or do Brian and Greg always look slightly confused? But did they really find their clue/ticket that quickly? Talk about good luck...

Isn't despacio "slow"? Then why would Meredith tell the pedi-driver mas despacio?

At least the teams pull off the time markers once they've found their clue/ticket. It keeps the other teams from needlessly digging in an empty pile.

Rob, of course the others don't want you to win. Again doesn't matter. You winning would mean them losing. That's all there is to it.

Hmm. If the middle group's flight was delayed, will they get a time bonus later on? It seems unfair that flights arranged by the PTBs would screw them like this.

::sigh:: At least they were able to transfer to the 7:40 flight.

I told you that the altitude difference would bother 'em.

Props to Felipe the Kiosk Owner!

I find it interesting that they've stopped subtitling the Spanish of Debbie(?) and Chuck.

And we encounter the traditional first-leg zipline.

Patrick really is cute, isn't he. I don't mean this in a "I wanna sex him up" way, because he is seriously not my type, but he really is adorable. And he treats his mother well, which is a sign of a good relationship.

Won't. Link. To. Llama Song. Mustn't. Link. To. Llama Song.

Hee! "I'm glad I peed before I did that."

We seem to have an alliance of two fully functional teams. How rare is that?

Did Surfer Boi #1 just translate "vamanos" to his brother? As if it wasn't apparent from context. Of course, Surfer Boi #2 seems to only know "muy rapido, mi amigo", so maybe it really was necessary.

I love the Funky Electric Guitar of Llama-Roping. It contrasts nicely to the Jazzy Chords of Basket-Carrying.

Chill OUT, Debbie. You're still ahead of the 7:40 group. Stop obsessing over Rob and Amber.

Llamas are much like mules: living animal examples of inertia.

See, Debbie? You woulda been in the same truck as Rob/Amber and Patrick/Susan if you'd stayed with the llamas instead of switching.

"So this is what the kids call 'wedgies'." I love Gretchen. She's such a gramma.

I always these people more when they actually stop and admire the scenery. Because they go to some absolutely beautiful places and it would be a crying shame to just ignore them.

See? This is actually a good strategy that Team Grey is running. Having one rope-leader and one butt-swatter works a lot better than two individual leaders.

Oh, dios mios. I'm already tired of the SurferBros.

Okay, currently the Hippie Chicks are last and they haven't gotten much screen-time. I bet they come in last.

Is it "DEE-na?" I thought it was "de-ANA."

Is it wrong that I find Patrick more adorable when he's trying to be conniving? Also? I hope that Susan/Patrick come in first, just so Rob&Amber don't get anything else from a reality show.

What are all those papers and books that Debbie & Bianca are carrying? I thought that the racers weren't allowed to buy travel guides.

HA HA HA! Someone finally realized how ridiculous he sounds when he speaks broken Spanish.

::snerk:: Okay, Rob&Amber literally pushing aside the traffic jam earns some cool points.

They're giving away cash instead of trips this season?! $10K EACH?! Holy Jeezum Crow! That's a bit more of an incentive to place first, wouldn't you say?

I really hope that the Hippie Chicks are the ones to lose. I'm actually interested in the other 2 teams on the last truck. Well, more than the Hippie Chicks anyway.

It's really odd hearing completely grammatically correct Spanish spoken in a hick accent. But the accent still wins me over. What can I say, I'm a sucker for accents of all sorts.

I think I know what bothers me about Joyce: her eyes are too big and too far apart for her face.

Oh, I hope that Team Downhome doesn't lose. They're the one team of these three that I want to see continue.

Crap. The Hippie Chicks made it. Hair crimpers everywhere continue to be in danger.

Shit shit shit. Team Downhome lost and only by a matter of seconds. And was it really necessary to use subtitles to "translate" their accents? As a Southerner (even though I don't have an accent), I'm vaguely offended.

Previews: So Debbie gets in the face of Rob and admits that she doesn't think he deserves to be on the show since he and Amber won the million from Survivor. Good for her.