Open Letters to THEM
May. 20th, 2004 06:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
drewbearcrossposted to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
customers_suck
Dear Mr. Man;
I neither need nor want to hear the excruciating details of your life, especially when they have nothing to do with our office. And when I have carefully and repeatedly explained that we are only estimating what the insurance will pay us, do not get huffy if I send you a bill for the less than $10 balance later.
Thank you,
The Guy Who Works With Dental Insurance Every Day
Dear Old Lady;
You are a very nice woman, and I am sorry to have to tell you this, but I don't have the time to chat with you when there are 2 people behind you waiting to check out. If you would like to chat, please wait until I have finished with the people who need to leave.
Lovingly,
The Guy Who Reminds You Of Your Grandson
Dear Drug-Seeker;
Your check was returned to us today, having bounced due to insufficient funds. We weren't surprised by this, as we had already pegged you as a drug addict seeking painkillers. When you come into our office complaining of pain in a tooth that, upon examination, is quite literally liquefying due to rot and infection, we're a little suspicious. That level of decay is not something that happens overnight. In fact, it's doubtful that it could happen within a few months. It's fairly obvious that you've been nursing it along in order to get pain meds. But we have to give you the benefit of the doubt, so we make a followup appointment to extract the tooth stub in a week, after the prescribed antibiotics have cleared the infection. When you call us 3 hours later explaining that you "were in an accident that caused [your] car to burn up with [your] purse and prescriptions inside. Can [we] give [you] new ones?", our suspicions are confirmed. In the future, please keep your lies simple; the elaborate story makes you sound like a fool.
Spitting On Your Corpse,
The Guy Who Won't Mind Never Seeing You Again
P.S. Telling us that your last hospitalization was at the local psychiatric hospital for drug addicition wasn't too smart either.
customers_suckDear Mr. Man;
I neither need nor want to hear the excruciating details of your life, especially when they have nothing to do with our office. And when I have carefully and repeatedly explained that we are only estimating what the insurance will pay us, do not get huffy if I send you a bill for the less than $10 balance later.
Thank you,
The Guy Who Works With Dental Insurance Every Day
Dear Old Lady;
You are a very nice woman, and I am sorry to have to tell you this, but I don't have the time to chat with you when there are 2 people behind you waiting to check out. If you would like to chat, please wait until I have finished with the people who need to leave.
Lovingly,
The Guy Who Reminds You Of Your Grandson
Dear Drug-Seeker;
Your check was returned to us today, having bounced due to insufficient funds. We weren't surprised by this, as we had already pegged you as a drug addict seeking painkillers. When you come into our office complaining of pain in a tooth that, upon examination, is quite literally liquefying due to rot and infection, we're a little suspicious. That level of decay is not something that happens overnight. In fact, it's doubtful that it could happen within a few months. It's fairly obvious that you've been nursing it along in order to get pain meds. But we have to give you the benefit of the doubt, so we make a followup appointment to extract the tooth stub in a week, after the prescribed antibiotics have cleared the infection. When you call us 3 hours later explaining that you "were in an accident that caused [your] car to burn up with [your] purse and prescriptions inside. Can [we] give [you] new ones?", our suspicions are confirmed. In the future, please keep your lies simple; the elaborate story makes you sound like a fool.
Spitting On Your Corpse,
The Guy Who Won't Mind Never Seeing You Again
P.S. Telling us that your last hospitalization was at the local psychiatric hospital for drug addicition wasn't too smart either.
