Beowulf: The Abominationing

[drewbear]

So these ads for Beowulf...

Do they scream "horrible flop of a tragedy" to anyone else or is it just me?

When they're advertising it as "the latest evolution of 3D" instead of, you know, anything of real value? I consider that a bad sign. Especially since, with all that supposedly spectacular new technology, the CGI effects in the ads are still so godawful bad compared to the true cutting edge stuff that my eyes are stuck in a permanent spin cycle.

A single example: bubbles are not perfectly spherical, nor are they the size of marbles and just as unyielding.

Or, to put it another way, based solely on their ads (since I haven't seen either), the SciFi Channel made-for-tv-movie Grendel looked better.

Yeah.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

But it has Angelina Jolie as Grendel's mother, the "famous seductress"! How can you not pay your respects to her dominion over our entire planet?

Of course you're right about the effects, though. Beowulf will be a retread of The Polar Express, except there's no plot this time.

~Katie

[(Anonymous)]

I was going to say Brangelina, but what got me was that whippy tail on her. I guess they stuck it on to balance the lips. And with the mention of the polar express I need to go claw my eyes out.

Cold weather food: 1# of mixed frozen veges, your pick, 1# of protein,(cut up chicken, ham, beans, sausage, whatever you have), some rice or pasta, onions and other savory additions to taste, tomato of some sort(paste, stewed, sauce, or pasta sauce), salt, pepper, garlic to taste. Throw it all in a crock pot with plenty of liquid. Start it before work; when you get home, don't be surprised to find people have broken in to get to the delicious smell. This is different every time I make it.

Or, braise(slow cook in liquid) beef heart(99cents/#) in beer or red wine all day in crock pot. Same effect. Before serving, remove heart, stir a can of mushrooms, and low fat sour cream, plain yogourt, or even some cream cheese and milk into the liquid. Slice heart thin, serve over rice or noodles.

Homemade chili is good in this weather as well.--Sara's MOM

[drewbeartx.livejournal.com]

I *think* that tail is actually supposed to be an insanely long braid, so as not to uglify Angelina.

Those recipes sound good, but I need a crockpot first :-P

[drewbeartx.livejournal.com]

Strange how I don't remember Grendel's mom as a seductress. Wasn't she supposed to be a worse and more horrible monster than Grendel?

[badjahsensei.livejournal.com]

It will make money for one reason: every lazy student who has it assigned in high school or college will suck it up like mad...

[drewbeartx.livejournal.com]

::sigh:: I know. Because the original is "too hard". And of course Angelina Jolie as Grendel's mom isn't a factor at all, nosireebob.

[sfopanda.livejournal.com]

It's the return of the freakish zombie CG characters! Maybe IMAX 3D version will make it more watchable... or gratituitous full-frontal nudity...

[drewbeartx.livejournal.com]

Depends on who's full-frontal. I'm not sure that even if Beowulf was full-frontal that I'd go. There's something about that actor (or how he does the role, anyway) that puts me off.