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Sense of foreboding...
May. 3rd, 2008 09:21 pmFirst off, let me say that I know I have a good life. I'm in generally good health, I'm gainfully employed and earning enough to live on, my debts and loans are small and getting smaller. I have a home, a car, a computer and good friends. While there is room for improvement, my life is pretty good.
That being said, I've had a vague sense of foreboding for the last 8-9 months or so. It feels like something very big and very bad is going to happen and relatively soon. I don't know what this "something" is, but it's been slowly impinging on my dreams and subtly affecting how I interact with the world. And it's getting stronger.
I've always been a fan of the (post-)apocalyptic genre, but lately it seems to be the only kind of fiction that can hold my attention past the first chapter or so. I've begun looking into what I would need to do for a food/herb garden for my porch (answer: moot point. I don't get nearly as much sun as most food plants would need). I'm researching camping and survivalist equipment, trying to find stuff that I can afford that also doesn't suck. I'm socking away money into my savings accounts whenever and however I can, not because I feel strongly about building a nest egg or I'm saving up to buy something big (I could use what I already have saved to immediately clear one debt and seriously damage another), but rather because I have the sense that it's going to be a really, REALLY good idea to have a semi-decent emergency fund available sometime in the near future.
What kinda scares me is that, by observing and talking with people, it seems like I'm not the only one who feels this way. At least 1/3 of the people I glancingly mention this topic to are themselves worried about it and most are also preparing for some unknown, worrisome disaster. Planting or expanding edible gardens, stocking up on medicines, stocking up on essential yet one-shot goods, stocking up on dry goods, stocking up on emergency gear out-of-season, stocking up on guns and ammunition. The daughter of one of my coworkers is, according to said coworker, prone to occasional highly-accurate precognizant dreams and has been having nightmares regarding a similar looming disaster.
I'm certain that at least part of this is a subconscious reaction to the current depressing and stressful American situation, but so much of people's reactions is focused on preparing for an IMMINENT danger with long-term consequences that it's kind of hard to totally dismiss it as a stress-reaction. Also, until I bring it to their attention, so many of the people I talk with seem to think that they're the only ones who feel like this; they don't initiate discussions about it and seem reluctant to talk about it for some ill-defined fear of being labeled paranoid or crackpots. But once that barrier has been passed, they're eager to share their preparation plans and tips, acting slightly relieved that they're not alone.
I'm worried. And I'm making contingency plans.
That being said, I've had a vague sense of foreboding for the last 8-9 months or so. It feels like something very big and very bad is going to happen and relatively soon. I don't know what this "something" is, but it's been slowly impinging on my dreams and subtly affecting how I interact with the world. And it's getting stronger.
I've always been a fan of the (post-)apocalyptic genre, but lately it seems to be the only kind of fiction that can hold my attention past the first chapter or so. I've begun looking into what I would need to do for a food/herb garden for my porch (answer: moot point. I don't get nearly as much sun as most food plants would need). I'm researching camping and survivalist equipment, trying to find stuff that I can afford that also doesn't suck. I'm socking away money into my savings accounts whenever and however I can, not because I feel strongly about building a nest egg or I'm saving up to buy something big (I could use what I already have saved to immediately clear one debt and seriously damage another), but rather because I have the sense that it's going to be a really, REALLY good idea to have a semi-decent emergency fund available sometime in the near future.
What kinda scares me is that, by observing and talking with people, it seems like I'm not the only one who feels this way. At least 1/3 of the people I glancingly mention this topic to are themselves worried about it and most are also preparing for some unknown, worrisome disaster. Planting or expanding edible gardens, stocking up on medicines, stocking up on essential yet one-shot goods, stocking up on dry goods, stocking up on emergency gear out-of-season, stocking up on guns and ammunition. The daughter of one of my coworkers is, according to said coworker, prone to occasional highly-accurate precognizant dreams and has been having nightmares regarding a similar looming disaster.
I'm certain that at least part of this is a subconscious reaction to the current depressing and stressful American situation, but so much of people's reactions is focused on preparing for an IMMINENT danger with long-term consequences that it's kind of hard to totally dismiss it as a stress-reaction. Also, until I bring it to their attention, so many of the people I talk with seem to think that they're the only ones who feel like this; they don't initiate discussions about it and seem reluctant to talk about it for some ill-defined fear of being labeled paranoid or crackpots. But once that barrier has been passed, they're eager to share their preparation plans and tips, acting slightly relieved that they're not alone.
I'm worried. And I'm making contingency plans.
