(no subject)
Apr. 6th, 2004 02:45 pmWhy Nerds Aren't Popular (ganked from
pdi)
The Bully/Victim Continuum
That having been said, I have an anecdote:
My family moved from Virginia Beach, VA to Texas during the winter break of my 9th grade. I relocated into the local junior high, and actually met another transfer student on the first day of the spring semester. It turned out that we were in gym together, and our post-lunch English classes met at the same time in adjacent rooms, so we saw each other rather more frequently than is probably usual. We'd had short little conversations, mainly about Stephen King books, which he liked. Then, one lunchtime around spring break, I was out in the courtyard reading, hacing finished eating early. He came up to me and proceeded to insult me, in a standard "provoke a reaction" bullying manner. I apparently didn't react like he was expecting, 'cause he waited a few seconds, then headed back to a table where he sat with some other "rough" guys. I spent the next 5 minutes coming up with the most curse-laden, insulting, vile little speech I could, then went over, got his attention, and said it to him. He looked shocked and surprised and asked me to repeat what I just said (which I couldn't because I was panicky and forgot it as I said it). Instead, I told him that he'd heard what I said, then turned and walked away without waiting for a reaction from him. I didn't have any problems with bullying the rest of the year.
I guess what I trying to say is that bullying involves 2 people. The bullies are by no means without fault in the situation, but many times, the victim is not blameless in his (or her) vicitimization. In short, too many victims *act* like victims, which makes them targets of opportunity.
The Bully/Victim Continuum
That having been said, I have an anecdote:
My family moved from Virginia Beach, VA to Texas during the winter break of my 9th grade. I relocated into the local junior high, and actually met another transfer student on the first day of the spring semester. It turned out that we were in gym together, and our post-lunch English classes met at the same time in adjacent rooms, so we saw each other rather more frequently than is probably usual. We'd had short little conversations, mainly about Stephen King books, which he liked. Then, one lunchtime around spring break, I was out in the courtyard reading, hacing finished eating early. He came up to me and proceeded to insult me, in a standard "provoke a reaction" bullying manner. I apparently didn't react like he was expecting, 'cause he waited a few seconds, then headed back to a table where he sat with some other "rough" guys. I spent the next 5 minutes coming up with the most curse-laden, insulting, vile little speech I could, then went over, got his attention, and said it to him. He looked shocked and surprised and asked me to repeat what I just said (which I couldn't because I was panicky and forgot it as I said it). Instead, I told him that he'd heard what I said, then turned and walked away without waiting for a reaction from him. I didn't have any problems with bullying the rest of the year.
I guess what I trying to say is that bullying involves 2 people. The bullies are by no means without fault in the situation, but many times, the victim is not blameless in his (or her) vicitimization. In short, too many victims *act* like victims, which makes them targets of opportunity.