TAR 7.FINALE
May. 10th, 2005 08:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
drewbearPreviously: 11 teams started. 8 of them sucked. At the Race, anyway. As people, I liked several of them.
We enter with a short montage of "Britisher-than-thou" shots, then zoom into the Pitstop for Eat/Drink/Mingle shots
Wait? They're going to Kingston, Jamaica? JAMAICA? They're going *BACKWARDS*?!? What's going on? Why no Asia or Oceania, PTBs?
Dear Lord. Watching Kelly smirk about her superiority and desireability and watching Ron totally not get that Kelly is a bitch is painful.
Uchenna and Joyce get cuter every time I see them.
And so is that 2 hour lead of Rob/Amber demolished by airport bunching.
Oooo. Ron made an oblique reference to Baghdad instead of a direct one. He's improving!
LIMBO! Go Joyce! Go Joyce! Go Joyce!
Letting the height (or lack thereof) of the limbo stick determine their departure time in the morning is a really creative Roadblock.
A 15 minute delay isn't that bad, especially considering that there's a Pitstop between now and the finish line.
Just a general request for all 3 teams while you're in Jamaica. Don't say "mon" instead of "man". It makes you look like asses.
Okay, so the Detour is to either pole down the river on a bamboo raft or actually BUILD a bamboo raft and raft ACROSS the river. Yeah, building looks quicker.
::snerk:: Uchenna and Joyce are the only ones to put on gloves, even when working with wire. I bet those blood blisters will feel good in the morning, hm?
Hee! Despite getting there last, Uchenna and Joyce are the first to finish. See? Gloves help.
Kelly really is fundamentally useless, isn't she? No, worse than that. She's actually NEGATIVE help.
Hmm. This seems like a short leg. We're only 30 minutes into the episode and they're already heading for the Pitstop.
Rob&Amber got caught in a police check? I shouldn't laugh. They're in a potentially serious situation there, but I can't help it. HAHAHAHAHA
Oh, you're kidding me. One of Uchenna&Joyce's tires went flat? What is this, Bad Taxi Day?
Everyone's invoking miracles right now. I doubt that God really cares.
What's with all the chopper shots?
I like the greeter. I'm not normally attracted to black guys, but this'un's HOT!
And Uchenna&Joyce just got uber-mugged. :-( But considering how little it's actually hurt the other uber-muggees, I'm not terribly concerned.
Cool. They're helping to make jerked-pork. At least, that's what I assume the onions are for since they're delivering them to a jerked-pork shop.
HA! One of the locals called Ron on the "don't help them" strategy that everyone's been using this Race: "So you're going to cheat on this race?"
So, Uchenna&Joyce are starting out in the relative middle of nowhere and don't have any money for a taxi. This is much worse than the other two post-ubermuggings.
I still don't know why people don't ask their drivers if they know where they're going before they leave.
"A needle in a haystack of needles"? Ron, work on your cliches. You horribly abused that one.
So Uchenna&Joyce head for the airport first in an effort to beg for money, THEN head for the rest of the task. Smart, but time-consuming. Gods, I hate watching these damn begging segments. What possible purpose do they have? If this fucking thing is what kills them, I'll be livid.
Onion-chopping ensues. Gods, but Kelly is useless
And some kind soul gives Uchenna&Joyce $40 after I don't know how many hours of begging. I feel so sorry for them :-(
Horse-swimming obstacle course vs. golfing 140 yards away. Considering I've never golfed in my life and neither has anyone I know (Putt-Putt doesn't count) I'd have to go horsey-swimming.
Rob keeps telling Amber to "hit it quick" without really paying attention. He doesn't know golf very well, does he?
Uchenna&Joyce get choppin'
Rob&Amber finish golfing and now head for Puerto Rico. This is going to be the first Race that didn't actually go all the way around the world, isn't it. That sucks. >:-(
WHOA! Gratuitous Rob-underwear shot!
So Rob&Amber are at the airport before Uchenna&Joyce are even done with the onions. And they're trying to get around security measures with a "But my mothah..." excuse. Have I mentioned how much I hate those kind of playing-on-sympathy lies? Rob? Shut so very much the fuck up.
Dammit. Rob&Ambuh are out of Jamaica first. That means that they're at least an hour ahead of everyone else.
I really think that Uchenna&Joyce can't make up all the time they've lost. That 10-minute delay at the Pitstop became an hour plus one due to the money loss. Fuck. :-(
They all did Tee-Off? I would've liked to see someone do the horses.
Okay, so everyone's now out of Jamaica and the Aguadilla task doesn't open until the next morning. There's time to catch up. Not much, but hopefully enough.
YAY! U&J caught up! I'm glad for PTB-intended bunching for the first time, EVER!
Hm. They have to jump off a 30-foot bridge and then swim 90 yards. That height would get to me. I doubt I could do it. ::shudder::
And Ambuh can't figure out where to jump! Plus, Rob doesn't handle not being in the lead very well, at all.
Miami is the destination. Rob&Ambuh are behind, but airport-bunching is gonna take care of that.
So Kelly said "left" but pointed "right" and is complaining that Ron went left. This despite the fact that Ron couldn't see her pointing. Isn't she just a joy?
Wait, the plane is already boarding and Rob&Ambuh got put on the stand-by list? And they got on? HOW?! WHAT. THE. HELL. JUST. HAPPENED?
EEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! U&J just got the PILOT to agree to let them on the flight! They reattached the boarding tube and everything! EEEEEEEE!!!!!
Stock Miami-footage montage-attack!
So they have to translate an English name into Spanish before they can correctly ID the shop. Cool. Actual clues.
Was that Uchenna or the driver that translated? Either way, U&J just pulled out into the lead!
Wait. Did Ron&Ambuh abandon their luggage somewhere? OH, that's right, they left it on the plane on purpose. And it didn't speed them up at all. >-)
So U&J are driving to Ft. Lauderdale and the finish line with a lead on Rob&Ambuh. TeamPatriotic Splitsville is seriously out of the running.
Gee. Zuss. That fucking uber-mugging is about to cost U&J the Race!!!!
Oh thank the sweet merciful Lord. If Uchenna&Joyce hadn't won I would've stopped watching TAR. Also? WHEEEEEEEEE!!!!
They're just so happy; I'm gonna cry. ::sniffle:: And they're such classy winners, too. I love them so much!
Oh, and Rob&Ambuh got there too. They're graceful losers, I'll give them that. I still think that they shouldn't've been on the Race in the first place, but that's water under the bridge now.
LORD! Kelly really just can't speak without sounding like a bitch, can she? Run, Ron, run!
Next time:I dunno. Stop asking me! Rob&Ambuh get CBS to pay for and film their wedding. ::gag::
We enter with a short montage of "Britisher-than-thou" shots, then zoom into the Pitstop for Eat/Drink/Mingle shots
Wait? They're going to Kingston, Jamaica? JAMAICA? They're going *BACKWARDS*?!? What's going on? Why no Asia or Oceania, PTBs?
Dear Lord. Watching Kelly smirk about her superiority and desireability and watching Ron totally not get that Kelly is a bitch is painful.
Uchenna and Joyce get cuter every time I see them.
And so is that 2 hour lead of Rob/Amber demolished by airport bunching.
Oooo. Ron made an oblique reference to Baghdad instead of a direct one. He's improving!
LIMBO! Go Joyce! Go Joyce! Go Joyce!
Letting the height (or lack thereof) of the limbo stick determine their departure time in the morning is a really creative Roadblock.
A 15 minute delay isn't that bad, especially considering that there's a Pitstop between now and the finish line.
Just a general request for all 3 teams while you're in Jamaica. Don't say "mon" instead of "man". It makes you look like asses.
Okay, so the Detour is to either pole down the river on a bamboo raft or actually BUILD a bamboo raft and raft ACROSS the river. Yeah, building looks quicker.
::snerk:: Uchenna and Joyce are the only ones to put on gloves, even when working with wire. I bet those blood blisters will feel good in the morning, hm?
Hee! Despite getting there last, Uchenna and Joyce are the first to finish. See? Gloves help.
Kelly really is fundamentally useless, isn't she? No, worse than that. She's actually NEGATIVE help.
Hmm. This seems like a short leg. We're only 30 minutes into the episode and they're already heading for the Pitstop.
Rob&Amber got caught in a police check? I shouldn't laugh. They're in a potentially serious situation there, but I can't help it. HAHAHAHAHA
Oh, you're kidding me. One of Uchenna&Joyce's tires went flat? What is this, Bad Taxi Day?
Everyone's invoking miracles right now. I doubt that God really cares.
What's with all the chopper shots?
I like the greeter. I'm not normally attracted to black guys, but this'un's HOT!
And Uchenna&Joyce just got uber-mugged. :-( But considering how little it's actually hurt the other uber-muggees, I'm not terribly concerned.
Cool. They're helping to make jerked-pork. At least, that's what I assume the onions are for since they're delivering them to a jerked-pork shop.
HA! One of the locals called Ron on the "don't help them" strategy that everyone's been using this Race: "So you're going to cheat on this race?"
So, Uchenna&Joyce are starting out in the relative middle of nowhere and don't have any money for a taxi. This is much worse than the other two post-ubermuggings.
I still don't know why people don't ask their drivers if they know where they're going before they leave.
"A needle in a haystack of needles"? Ron, work on your cliches. You horribly abused that one.
So Uchenna&Joyce head for the airport first in an effort to beg for money, THEN head for the rest of the task. Smart, but time-consuming. Gods, I hate watching these damn begging segments. What possible purpose do they have? If this fucking thing is what kills them, I'll be livid.
Onion-chopping ensues. Gods, but Kelly is useless
And some kind soul gives Uchenna&Joyce $40 after I don't know how many hours of begging. I feel so sorry for them :-(
Horse-swimming obstacle course vs. golfing 140 yards away. Considering I've never golfed in my life and neither has anyone I know (Putt-Putt doesn't count) I'd have to go horsey-swimming.
Rob keeps telling Amber to "hit it quick" without really paying attention. He doesn't know golf very well, does he?
Uchenna&Joyce get choppin'
Rob&Amber finish golfing and now head for Puerto Rico. This is going to be the first Race that didn't actually go all the way around the world, isn't it. That sucks. >:-(
WHOA! Gratuitous Rob-underwear shot!
So Rob&Amber are at the airport before Uchenna&Joyce are even done with the onions. And they're trying to get around security measures with a "But my mothah..." excuse. Have I mentioned how much I hate those kind of playing-on-sympathy lies? Rob? Shut so very much the fuck up.
Dammit. Rob&Ambuh are out of Jamaica first. That means that they're at least an hour ahead of everyone else.
I really think that Uchenna&Joyce can't make up all the time they've lost. That 10-minute delay at the Pitstop became an hour plus one due to the money loss. Fuck. :-(
They all did Tee-Off? I would've liked to see someone do the horses.
Okay, so everyone's now out of Jamaica and the Aguadilla task doesn't open until the next morning. There's time to catch up. Not much, but hopefully enough.
YAY! U&J caught up! I'm glad for PTB-intended bunching for the first time, EVER!
Hm. They have to jump off a 30-foot bridge and then swim 90 yards. That height would get to me. I doubt I could do it. ::shudder::
And Ambuh can't figure out where to jump! Plus, Rob doesn't handle not being in the lead very well, at all.
Miami is the destination. Rob&Ambuh are behind, but airport-bunching is gonna take care of that.
So Kelly said "left" but pointed "right" and is complaining that Ron went left. This despite the fact that Ron couldn't see her pointing. Isn't she just a joy?
Wait, the plane is already boarding and Rob&Ambuh got put on the stand-by list? And they got on? HOW?! WHAT. THE. HELL. JUST. HAPPENED?
EEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! U&J just got the PILOT to agree to let them on the flight! They reattached the boarding tube and everything! EEEEEEEE!!!!!
Stock Miami-footage montage-attack!
So they have to translate an English name into Spanish before they can correctly ID the shop. Cool. Actual clues.
Was that Uchenna or the driver that translated? Either way, U&J just pulled out into the lead!
Wait. Did Ron&Ambuh abandon their luggage somewhere? OH, that's right, they left it on the plane on purpose. And it didn't speed them up at all. >-)
So U&J are driving to Ft. Lauderdale and the finish line with a lead on Rob&Ambuh. Team
Gee. Zuss. That fucking uber-mugging is about to cost U&J the Race!!!!
HATE!!!
Oh thank the sweet merciful Lord. If Uchenna&Joyce hadn't won I would've stopped watching TAR. Also? WHEEEEEEEEE!!!!
They're just so happy; I'm gonna cry. ::sniffle:: And they're such classy winners, too. I love them so much!
Oh, and Rob&Ambuh got there too. They're graceful losers, I'll give them that. I still think that they shouldn't've been on the Race in the first place, but that's water under the bridge now.
LORD! Kelly really just can't speak without sounding like a bitch, can she? Run, Ron, run!
Next time:
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no subject
Date: 2005-05-11 02:29 am (UTC)Me, too! There was literal flailing out of me! :)
Also, UCHENNA IN HIS UNDERWEAR. GYAH. YUM. TASTY.
no subject
Date: 2005-05-11 03:05 am (UTC)YAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!!!!!!
no subject
Date: 2005-05-11 11:48 am (UTC)Kelly - The woman seriously needs to get help for thost passive/aggressive tendancies and such. Also honey.....Pot....Kettle.....and face it, you just want to get married and knocked up so you don't have to work and can maybe actually EAT something some day.
Rombuh - SOOOO happy you lost, you don't need the money and your egos are big enough as it is.....And hell, you got CBS to shell out for your wedding. How Nick and Jessica of you.
Ron - Run, don't walk, RUN away from Kelly.
Uchenna in his undies....not normally my type, but man...what you packin' down there? A doberman??